Miss

There is less than one month left of my project here in Malaysia. At the PT we are busy getting everything ready for The Red Carnival - World Aids Day which is just around the corner and soon after there is The Fabulous Gala Dinner and Show.

But especially during the rainy days like these my mind is not completely here anymore. I'm counting days to the take off. I miss home. But there is many things in Malaysia too which I love and will miss for sure after I'm gone. To clear my head I thought about doing a fair list comparing these two.

Miss Elli's Missing List:

(Writer's note: I'm not gonna list people cause they are the cause I miss the most. The close friends and family back home and the new marvelous personalities from here whom I might not see in very long while after my departure)

FINLAND

• ANONYMITY - I miss being less visible. I would love to blend in but here I don't. I would look like a tourist even though I would have lived here over 10 years. Many pairs of eyes follow my every step. Men keep on greeting and yelling and doing funny kiss sounds. Motorcyclist toot their horns. Total strangers might take a picture of me before I have anything to say about it. When I meet a new person he/she might say that he has seen me before in the train/mall/in the audience of a theatre performance. In Finland I'm pretty unnoticeable unless I'm smiling way too widely for the Helsinki street scene.
• SAFETY - I miss walking on my own without being so cautious and even scared. Here if I need to use the public transportation during the day I wear trousers with pockets where I can carry all my valuable items. I try not to carry any kind of bag with me. I also have a scarf along so that sometimes I can hide my head underneath it (like 65% Malaysian women).
• FREEDOM - For previous reasons and cause the KL public transportation has its flaws I'm often dependent on others. I'm not use to being this helpless. I'm lucky to have so many good friends who can give me a ride when needed but I would love to come and go on my own schedule. Here I might recline from dinner/movie/concert invitation just cause it is too much trouble to get there and back(safely). In Helsinki - my home city - I trust the public transportation to take me anywhere in the city. If the night continues after midnight I can always walk back home. It's never too far and completely save.
• HOBBIES: I miss the common day chores of my Helsinki life: jogging by the sea, salsa lessons with the Cuban dance instructors, my two unique theatre groups and the inspiring co-working with my fellow designers.
• HEALTHY DIET: It is so much easier following healthy diet back home than it is here. Malaysian food is fantastic but it contains about three times the fat and sugar I would eat back home. My body and mind functions best when it is treated well.
• WEATHER: After this ever continuing heat I must admit I miss the variations of temperatures. Not because I would like to feel cold but because I would love to wear different layers of clothes. I miss wearing the woolen socks my mom has knitted for me.
• MY CAT: Pikke is my prince charming.
• SILENCE/FRESH AIR/THE SEA/FOREST: The nature. The peace.
• HAVING CONVERSATION OF SOMETHING ELSE THAN FOLLOWING: Where you from? What do you do in Malaysia? Why Malaysia? How long have you been here? What do you think about Malaysia? Do you like the food? Oh, you're vegetarian. Why? How long have you been? Would you like to eat/drink something? Is your parents vegetarians? Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? - I've thought about making a brochure of myself having ready-made-answers to all these questions: Finland/ Voluntary work/ It happen to be/ Four and half months/ Interesting & exotic/ Yes/ Out of ecological, ethic and health reasons/ Sure, if it doesn't have meat/ No/ No&No. If you know some cute, fun, artistic (and straight) boy, let me know!

MALAYSIA

• FRUITS: Oh. They keep on being divine!
• FOOD: If not always so healthy it is delicious. All the vegetarian Indian, Chinese and Malay dishes. I'm gonna miss this ethnic variety of food. (And it is ridiculously cheap too!)
• SHAKESPEARE: Even though I would have not guessed to meet "Shakespeare" here in Malaysia, the two-times-a-week Diligent Actor's Workshop - DAW has become important and anticipated part of my weekly routine. I love the group, the director, the challenge, and I genuinely feel like I've improved as an actress and in my english as well.
• LIGHT: Bye bye daily sunshine after returning middle of the darkest time of the year in Finland.
• JOB: I genuinely like my work a lot. I don't always like the long hours or that the work follows me everywhere I go but I do love the community, my tasks and title as the in-house-artist. It is magnificent that I can use my (and my macbook's) skills for such a good cause.
• EXOTICISM: Every day when I step out from my room there is the whole new world in front of my eyes. New things to see, experience and learn: Bread-men in their motorcycles covered with bread, tropic storms, chanting from the mosques, beautiful Indian ladies in their saris, temples, monkeys, monorail (metro that goes over the streets), banana trees, lizards, the spectacular "space" -like sky line of KL and the green mountains surrounding the city, storytellers... people living in the trees and the haunting spirits etc.
• BEING EXOTIC: After all that complaining of being so visible I must admit it is an advantage too. Looking like "an interesting person" (=meaning different/alien/foreigner) I've had a chance to meet lot of interesting people myself. How many times after and theatre show you meet the stars of the stage and they say they noticed you in the audience!? Or you get invitations to the after party after rock concerts. And then there is the free drinks&food (I don't mean in bars (cause I don't really go to bars here) but in restaurants waiters sometimes just give out drinks and desserts). Even though it is the blond hair and blue eyes I've born with (like 98% of my country men) some days I'm still flattered to be called beautiful.
• EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE: Here I feel like everything you want to do is possible to do. Boleh lah! (= Can be done)
• LIVING: In Helsinki I don't have a pool on my yard. But I do have the sea on my backyard.

So. As you see. There is two sides in the coin. Always is. I feel gratitude of being here and gratitude of having a home to return to and the liberty to do so. I am lucky. Thank you world!